Fathers’ Rights

A Chicago Blog

Misuse of Order of Protection: Mom the Terminator

Posted by madcap on August 23, 2008

Everyone knows. Any attorney will tell you. The Judge knows, the bailiff knows, and the court reporter knows. What do they know? They know that more often than not, terminator mothers use orders of protection, not as the shield that they were intended for, but rather as a sword to destroy the father.

No evidence is needed to obtain an order of protection. No filing fees, no attorney, nothing other than the claim that  “I’m afraid.” The father’s presence at the hearing is not required. A judgment can be issued against you with no opportunity to face your accuser. Your house can be taken away, your car, and your children can all be swept away in an instant.

One wrong step, one Christmas card sent in the mail, and bingo! Dad’s in jail! Heck, the father does not have to do anything, just the simple accusation from the terminator and off to jail you go. Forget about the new job you were to start on Monday. Forget about the money spent on bail. Oh, it could very well be thrown out in the end, but you still lost your job and your bail money, while the terminator walks unscaved.

In my personal case, I was charged with ten separate order of protection violations. Eight were dismissed. The two charges that I plead guilty to were sending Halloween cards to my daughters, and writing a letter asking to see the children for Thanksgiving. I was in jail for Thanksgiving that year for sending the Halloween cards. Trick or treat!

My terminator, Anna Jurich of Carbondale Illinois, had a personal relationship with her small town police department (the chief would often have dinner at her mother’s according to my daughters) and was able to time my arrests just before our OP hearing. This enabled her to delay my being able to receive a visitation schedule for many months. On the morning I was not in jail on the hearing date, I awoke to find all four tires slashed on my car.

Once, after I had received a temporary schedule under the OP, Anna Jurich was able to have the Christopher police waiting on a school bus ready to ambush me when I came to pick the girls up for a Wednesday visitation. I was arrested in front of my daughter’s school. The only time any violence occurred was when mom punched me at a drop off! My brother and I filed reports on this incident, but nothing was ever done about it.

I’ve had visitation with my daughters for the past eight years. Nothing has changed. The terminator can not be stopped. She has dedicated her life to destroying my relationship with my daughters.

Heck, I’m so afraid of my terminator, I think I need an Order of Protection! I bet she even tries taking legal action for me posting this article.

If you are a father who has a terminator after you, please submit your story in the comment section. I will review and post.

Also see:

https://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/parental-alienation-syndrome/

Rethinking Family Rights

Tuesday Morning Coffee & Ramblings/The FRO/Deadbeat Dads/Legal Aid

Family Courts Don’t Solve Conflict, They Create It

The Nuclear Option in Child Custody – Sexual Molestation Charges

Restraining Orders Can Be Straitjackets On Justice

Tribute to Fathers….Parent Alienation

July 28th, 2008 by Glenn SacksWood calls the current law on restraining orders ‘an efficient system.’ We disagree. Yes, the system is efficient in separating men from their children and their homes. However, it is hardly efficient in delivering justice.”

In the November 2007 issue of the Illinois Bar Journal,
Scott A. Lerner, Esq., takes a critical look at the
Illinois Domestic Violence Act (DVA) in his article
“Sword or Shield: Combating Orders-of-Protection Abuse
in Divorce”

“There’s no question that victims need protection from
abusers,” he writes. “But not all parties to divorce are
above using OPs [orders-of-protection] not for their

intended purpose but solely to gain advantage in a dissolution.” And “the greatest potential for abuse of the system,” in Lerner’s opinion, “is in visitation.” Full article

5 Responses to “Misuse of Order of Protection: Mom the Terminator”

  1. George Smith said

    I have a similar problem with my ex. Up till last week I was still mowing the lawn and taking out the garbage at my previous home. I felt it was my responsibility. It has been over two years since I moved out, yet I wanted to keep my word. However things changed dramatically after I was sentenced to charges that I plead guilty to just to make it all go away.
    I finally realized that she would have to do some of those things for herself from now on. People have thought me crazy for even speaking to her after what has happened, let alone helping her out on a daily basis.
    My answer to them was that I didn’t want to hurt my son by putting an extra burden on her, but what I didn’t realize the extra burden it was putting on me psychologically, physically and financially was taking its toll on me.
    During one of our more spirited arguments she called the police. She had done this in the past several years ago and they took me aside and told me to protect myself and that when she got like this to leave and let her cool off.
    I wish that I had listened to their advice.
    The police came and I was charged with Second Degree Felony Burglary. I said, “What are you talking about?” What did I steal? I had an argument with my ex in a house that I still pay for, I am not a criminal. They said that I remained unlawfully. We were definitely arguing, but there was not any hitting or violence at all. I admit that maybe we shouldn’t have been arguing in front of our son, but the punishment does not fit the “crime”.
    To make it go away and to stop the endless court appearances that were weighing on me severely, I plead guilty to Misdemeanor Domestic Violence in front of a child.
    That still didn’t help me with the two thousand dollars I had to find to get me out of jail and the three hellish days of 23 hour lockdown in jail. I had never even been arrested before. It was very traumatic. I am now stuck with legal fees, time lost from work, etc. And possibly the worst thing of all, I am now perceived as a “jail guy” by many people. That hurts me the worst out of anything.
    What happened to her, Nothing? She was arguing too. It is all out of proportion.
    Her friend told her she should get a protective order against me. She did and now to top it all off I have to wear an ankle bracelet and be confined to my home for sixty days.
    I know this sounds hard to believe, but I had never been arrested in my life. I have an MBA and have run my own business for over 12 years. I have chosen to be a good guy.
    I used to think that those mandatory sentences were probably a good thing. But now I realize that ANYONE can be arrested and there is next to nothing you can do about it.
    I do think that if there is a crazy ex that is beating his wife, he should be arrested. But since when did yelling get you this much punishment?
    She has completely abused the system as well as our family and she stills gets to live in the nice house that I pay for while I get “visitation” and live in a piece of crap house.
    I try not to whine about it, but it seems like sometimes life isn’t fair. I had never been in trouble with the law. I have never used drugs of any kind. I have tried to be a super father. Yet I am treated like a common criminal for arguing with my insane ex about the treatment of my son.
    Something should be done to protect the “regular guy” fathers out there who are being screwed over by the overzealous justice system that is trying to protect the “victimized” women.
    I don’t want to sound like I believe it is acceptable to beat your wife at all. However, these cases should be judged on past experiences and what really happened and not on the word of a bitter, bi-polar, enraged woman whose only goal is to cause her ex pain and suffering. The funny thing is that after she cooled off she begged them not to arrest me, but by that time they had already started the paperwork and couldn’t be inconvenienced.
    My only goal now is to raise my son and to keep as far away from her as possible for fear she will have one of her episodes and I will have to pay the price for her temporary insanity.

  2. Chrissy said

    I’m sorry that have you to go through this. I have been going through this since the age of 3. I was a child survivor of parental alienation. I want you to know that I did return to my mom. My dad was my alientor and it was a severe case, in fact I have not seen my brothers since 1991. I have blogs and I was in DC for the festival I have a you tube video on that speech. This is a crime for any parent to due this to a child and it has life long effects for the child. These alienators should be punished! My goal is to make changes in hopes this dosent have to happen to another child or for a loving parent to be without their child. But be hopeful I took the journey back home to the parent I should have known all my life.

    Chrissy Chrzanowski

  3. madcap said

    Thank you so much. I do have hope, and faith that I will see my children again.

  4. Sean said

    Sorry to hear about the way this went down for you, I too have been abused by the system and what you could call a coo-coo ex. No kids with this vindictive human being, thank god. People should be punished for abusing the system. There really are abusers that should be punished, but the orders should not be used the way they are in some divorces, it took me awhile to get over this, but when I look back at all the crap I’ve been through I can honestly say that things can only get better. Good Luck and avoid the crazy past because they will hang you out to dry when they are scorned.

  5. […] on GNOSTICISM: Understanding the …David on GNOSTICISM: Understanding the …Sean on Misuse of Order of Protection:…Jackie Zeune on Parental Alienation Syndrome: …tao4all on GNOSTICISM: Understanding the […]

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